What is “Spiraling” and How Do I Stop?

Have you heard the word “spiraling” when someone is talking about anxiety and wondered what they meant? Let’s talk about it.

Spiraling is the experience of having thoughts that loop and intensify.

It often starts with a completely reasonable worry, like “My partner is late getting home… I hope they’re okay,” which then evolves into more worries: “What if they got into a car crash?” “Should I call them?” “What if I call and they think I’m needy?” “What if something did happen and no one else is checking on them?”

It’s like your brain opened 14 tabs at once and none of them will stop auto-refreshing.

Unlike straight-up catastrophizing (which tends to leap to the worst-case scenario and plant itself there), spiraling loops through all the possible outcomes - including the meta-anxiety about having anxiety.

So, what do we do about spiraling?

In my work, I draw from ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), which invites us to notice that we’re spiraling, not just get lost in it. The act of naming it - saying “spiraling” out loud or even in your head - can be weirdly effective. It helps create space between you and the thought, like you’re stepping out of the cycle for a second and looking at it from an outside perspective.

After noticing the different situations where spiraling shows up, you might start to notice themes - you might even come up with a label or nickname for it, like “overthinking radio.” The radio might be on in the background, and it may be annoying, but recognizing it as noise can give you clarity to decide how you want to move forward.

Maybe instead of calling your partner mid-spiral, you text: “Hey, just checking in. My brain started its dramatic monologue, and I know it’s probably fine. Just wanted to see when you’re heading back.” I encourage clients to share their coping strategies with their partner so that they can use humor together to handle stressors. Humor, when it’s mutual and gentle, can take the sharp edge off anxiety. Naming your brain’s habits together turns the spiral into something you can both laugh about later, instead of something that isolates you.

These approaches may seem simple, and honestly, it can be annoying how simple they are when they work. They help us gain distance from the experience, where we can then pivot toward what truly matters to us. We’re not trying to never spiral again (you’re not a robot). But we can change our relationship to the spiral over time and allow it to be what it is - a series of thoughts that, though compelling, don’t have to control our actions.