How Do I Know If I Have Anxiety?

“Anxiety” is one of those words we throw around a lot. It's become shorthand for everything from stressing about an awkward email to full-blown emotional overwhelm. But what does it actually feel like? And when should you pay attention to it?

The truth is, anxiety doesn’t wear one face. For some, it shows up like a loud internal alarm: racing heart, chest tightness, the creeping feeling that something is definitely wrong (even if you can’t name what). For others, it’s a low-grade hum—persistent overthinking, always bracing for the next thing to go wrong, or the urge to fix, manage, and control everything within a 50-mile radius.

It’s not always dramatic. Sometimes it’s subtle. Like when your thoughts are running in circles trying to solve a problem that doesn’t actually exist yet. Or when you go to text someone back and suddenly feel paralyzed trying to say the “right” thing. Or when your day looks functional on paper, but inside, you feel like you're white-knuckling it through every conversation and task.

Clinically, we define anxiety as a problem when it causes significant distress or starts interfering with your life. For example, if you start skipping social plans, not because you don’t want to go, but because the idea of small talk sends you into a tailspin. Or if your workday involves staring at your screen for hours, accomplishing nothing, but feeling too frozen to move.

But here’s the thing - the term “anxiety” isn’t actually the important part. Labels can be helpful, but they aren’t everything. That’s why I talk more about overthinking, people-pleasing, perfectionism, burnout. Because often, that is anxiety—it just doesn’t show up in the way we expect. It looks like trying to be good enough all the time. Like needing control to feel safe. Like endlessly rehearsing conversations in your head.

So if you’re wondering whether you have anxiety, start here:

Are you feeling overwhelmed, even when things are “fine”?
Do you feel stuck in your head most of the time?
Are you constantly trying to keep everyone (and everything) around you okay?

You don’t need a diagnosis to deserve support. You just need to notice what’s getting in the way of the life you want—and be curious enough to ask, “what’s underneath this?”

Because whatever you call it, you’re not the only one feeling this way—and it doesn’t have to stay this hard.